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With You - Delirious? |
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Ever had one of those days where you just get it wrong? Even though, with completely the best intentions, you totally meant to help a situation, not make it worse. But then you see that your timing sucked and you really should have thought more about what you were doing. And now? You've just made a mess.
That's what I did today, and the worst thing is, it was over something really petty too. I was talking a bit about love to my boyfriend, with little response from him. A little irritated, because I'm not one for a lack of communication, and it was on a really important topic to me. So later I sent him a text saying I was a little upset. Angry wasn't the word- I wasn't at all mad at him or anything like that. It was more that I felt as part of being in a relationship, I should communicate my needs, for communication is really important. I just wanted him to know I cared I guess, and that I felt he didn't care. The thing is, I really thought it was a good thing to do as well.
Big, stupid mistake. Got a very angry text from the bf telling me not to have a go at him, since he had been wrorking all evening, felt ill, and in general had just had a crappy week, and yeah. And then actually I realised that what I'd said had only really been for the good of me, not for the good of him. Aaah. I said sorry, and just ended up feeling all guilty till late that evening, when I finally decided to go to sleep.
Even though its all appeared to have blown over now, I still feel like such an idiot. I ask God to help me bring the best of myself into my relationship, but all the time I just end up not doing it. May there be hope for me yet!
xxx
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dustedbutterfly's journal
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